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Laughing lips 10/19/2014
So this girl goes to the plastic surgeon to get better lips.
After a while she wasn't satisfied with them anymore
and decided to sue the plastic surgeon who did the operation;
she discovered that the lips had previously belonged to
a deceased clown.
So why did she want to sue?
She sued him because.. after the surgery... her lips 'made
her feel funny' ...
0 Comments, 62 Views,
4 Votes
,1.30 Score
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Amish 10/19/2014
Clip clop clip clop bang bang bang.... an Amish drive by
shooting.
1 Comments, 13 Views,
1 Votes
,2.40 Score
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How to start a fight 10/19/2014
\
One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot
as a Christmas gift
The next year, I didn't buy her a gift.
When she asked me why, I replied,
"Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought
you last year!"
And that's how the fight started.....
...
0 Comments, 67 Views,
6 Votes
,5.07 Score
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Construction workers at a convent 10/17/2014
There was a large construction project going on at a convent.
The project had been going on for a while and there had been
a few problems, so people's nerves were on edge. Finally
one day, the mother superior of the convent called the construction
supervisor into her office.
"Sir, you HAVE to talk with your men! This is a holy
place, blessed by God, and their language is not suitable
for ...
2 Comments, 159 Views,
9 Votes
,3.64 Score
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How to get a nun pregnant 10/17/2014
How do you get a nun pregnant?
Dress her up as an altar boy
0 Comments, 27 Views,
0 Votes
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Mr Angus McDonald [blog username] 10/15/2014
My old friend Angus, 85, needed some extensive surgery.
As the consultant ran through the preliminary pre-op list
with Angus, ticking boxes, he paused and said, "Irrelevant".
Angus said, "what?". The consultant at him
mildly and said, "Oh, just the sperm freezing, seems
pointless at your age?" "Hell, no, I'll
have that". The consultant shrugged, and handed
him a bottle with a safety lid. "Just ...
0 Comments, 84 Views,
5 Votes
,4.12 Score
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Two Hunters 10/15/2014
Two hunters, neither of whom had an IQ much higher than a
rock, were out hunting one day. As they were walking along
the dirt road through the woods, they came upon a sign. The
sign said "Bear Left", so they went home.
0 Comments, 48 Views,
5 Votes
,2.16 Score
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Two idiots 10/13/2014
These two idiots were walking through the wood and came
across a sink hole. They wondered how deep it was and threw
a rock down and never heard it land. they decided they needed
something larger so they grabbed a railroad tie lying near
by and tossed it into the hole. Right after they threw the
tie a goat whizzed by them and jumped down the hole. The looked
at each other and shrugged their ...
2 Comments, 125 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score
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Someone from back home 10/13/2014
A couple in their 50's were traveling in their RV from
Maine to Florida. They stopped for gas in Georgia and the
attendant asked the guy if he wanted to fill it up. The wife
being very hard of hearing said "WHAT DID HE SAY?"
The husband yelled 'HE ASKED IF WE WANTED TO FILL IT
UP." While pumping the gas the attendant asked the
husband if he wanted his oil checked and he said yes. The
wife again ...
0 Comments, 107 Views,
5 Votes
,4.77 Score
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fucking love 10/12/2014
I said fuck yu man
0 Comments, 26 Views,
0 Votes
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Turna Brown 10/12/2014
One day on an elevator there was a black guy and a white guy
talking. The white guy could barely understand the black
guy because he talked to fast. The black guy introduced
himself by saying I'm 7 ft tall, with a 12 inch cock,
right ball weigh 50 lbs, left ball weigh 50 lbs, and they
call me Turna Brown. The white guy passes out. After a few
minutes the white guy woke up off the floor and ask ...
0 Comments, 106 Views,
4 Votes
,4.80 Score
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and so it goes 10/11/2014
From a friends profile I read: ....."A Penis has a
sad life: His hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor
is an asshole and his owner beats him" 
1 Comments, 33 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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railroad 10/11/2014
A man is telling his friend of a recent experience: "I
was walking along beside the railway line" he says,
"When I saw this girl tied to the tracks. Well, naturally
I freed her, pulled her off the tracks and ended up having
sex with her all night." "Did you get a blow job?"
asks his friend. "No!" he says, "I never
did find the head.
1 Comments, 36 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score
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doctors office 10/11/2014
There was a girl that came into the doctors office. Then
awed by her beauty all his professionalism goes right out
the window. He tells her to take her pants off , then he starts
to rub her thighs, he asked her "Do you know what I am
doing?" She replied "Yes your checking for
abnorbilities." Then he tell her to take of her bra
and shirt and he rubs her boobs and asks her "Do you
know what I am ...
0 Comments, 122 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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Fens 10/11/2014
Best chat up line in Spalding is "I've come to
widen your gene pool". Definition of a virgin in Wisbech
is a girl who can run faster than her uncle. username...
0 Comments, 21 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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a day at the office...lol 10/11/2014
A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will
make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by
the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought
for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story.
Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for
$2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even
have enough time to undressed himself." So she ...
0 Comments, 83 Views,
4 Votes
,4.41 Score
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Fucked now 10/11/2014
A woman with no arms or legs was sitting on the beach when
along a , an jogging down the beach. So she gets his attention
and tells him she has never been hugged. So he reached down and hugged her then went on his way.
A few minutes later another man comes jogging down the beach.
So she gets his attention and tells him she's never
been kissed. So he reached down and kissed her and went ...
1 Comments, 98 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Elderly lady 10/11/2014
I Was at the ATM Yesterday When an Elderly Lady Approached
and Asked Me to Help Her Check Her Balance.....So I Pushed
Her...Who Knew???
1 Comments, 47 Views,
5 Votes
,3.47 Score
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PARKING SPOTS 10/11/2014
What are the similarities between women and car parking
spaces?
All the good ones are taken so sometimes when no-ones looking
you stick it in a disabled one.
0 Comments, 18 Views,
3 Votes
,3.43 Score
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TRUE????? 10/11/2014
The American Government has revealed it's emergency
plans in case of an outbreak of Ebola were to happen in the
states. The Emergency plans are as follows....
More guns.
0 Comments, 41 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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OUCH 10/11/2014
Ebola - finishing what Live Aid started
0 Comments, 16 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score
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cat 10/9/2014
The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school
today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because
I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that
p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!
0 Comments, 14 Views,
0 Votes
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Try not to giggle! 10/9/2014
Went to my weight watchers group the other day & dropped
my malteasers on the floor, well it was best game of Hungry
Hippos I've ever seen!!
0 Comments, 26 Views,
2 Votes
,3.81 Score
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The three rings associated with marriage ? 10/8/2014
(1) Engagement ring ! (2) Wedding ring ! (3) The suffer ring !!
0 Comments, 9 Views,
1 Votes
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No nuts or bolts required! 10/8/2014
IKEA have launched a new easy to assemble Lesbian bed, there's
no screwing together but a lot of tongue in groove!!
1 Comments, 24 Views,
1 Votes
,5.00 Score
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New & Improved 10/6/2014
When a product comes out as "New & Improved"
does that mean we were idiots for buying the old version?
1 Comments, 17 Views,
4 Votes
,2.86 Score
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Milk 10/6/2014
Is all Chinese milk Lo Fat?
1 Comments, 11 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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The Beaver 10/6/2014
*When Jerry Mathers loses his hair will he be known as the
Brazilian Beaver?
0 Comments, 6 Views,
2 Votes
,2.42 Score
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Ugly Women 10/6/2014
I HAVE NEVER GONE TO BED WITH AN UGLY WOMAN..... I have woken
up with a few, though.
1 Comments, 17 Views,
5 Votes
,4.45 Score
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Linoleum 10/6/2014
Did you hear about the mohel who saved all the foreskins?
He glued them to the linoleum and when he buffed them he got
a hard wood floor.
1 Comments, 12 Views,
1 Votes
,1.10 Score
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