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Stranded on Deserted Island 3/1/2019
A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and
there are only 3 Survivors: Jim, Tom, and Susie. <br><br>
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there
for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and
women to do. After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt
absolutely horrible about what she was doing. ...
1 Comments, 95 Views,
8 Votes
,2.78 Score |
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A morbid joke 3/1/2019
So I have a friend who has been really depressed lately.
His life is going nowhere, and he has been thinking about
committing suicide. Good thing he is a male, and has a fear
to commit. <br><br>
Do you have any morbid jokes? I wrote this one myself
1 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,2.09 Score |
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Good Heavens... 2/25/2019
St. Peter is on duty at the Pearly Gates of Heaven where he
meets those who's time on Earth had come to an end and
he decides whether or not they enter Heaven or "the
other place". A woman is the first newcomer for the
day and St. Peter greets her. He asks her "have you
been a good person all your life? The woman replies "yes,
I tried my very best to be good. I went ...
2 Comments, 113 Views,
17 Votes
,4.54 Score |
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At the Funeral 2/24/2019
A cardiologist died and was given an eleborate funeral.
<br><br>
A huge heart, covered in flowers, stood behind the casket
during the service. <br><br>
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket
rolled inside. The beautiful heart then closed, sealing
the doctor inside, forever. <br><br>
At that point, one of the mourners burst into laughter.
When ...
6 Comments, 116 Views,
27 Votes
,4.40 Score |
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Cotton Candy 2/24/2019
So this old man is walking down the street in Brooklyn. <br><br>
He sees a young boy sitting on the street in front of a candy
shop, shoving sweets in his mouth as fast as possible. <br><br>
<br><br> <br><br> The man walks up to the boy and says "You know , it's
really not healthy to eat all that candy." <br><br>
The looks ...
1 Comments, 83 Views,
17 Votes
,4.12 Score |
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oldest 2/24/2019
"They say checkers is the oldest." "Oh, no, poker is older. Didnt Noah draw pairs on the
Ark and get a full house when world had a flush?"
0 Comments, 16 Views,
10 Votes
,3.39 Score |
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Otherwise OK 2/24/2019
"Darling you would a be wonderful dancer but for two
things." "what are they, my love?" "Your feet!"
3 Comments, 27 Views,
13 Votes
,2.81 Score |
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A Guy Walks into a Bar... 2/23/2019
And orders 10 shots of gin, neat. He slams them back, 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-8-9-10
POW!!! all in a row, NO CHASER. The bartender is astonished.
<br><br>
"Holy shit pal, what are YOU celebrating?"
the bartender says. <br><br>
Guy says, "My first blow job" <br><br>
The bartender says "Why didnt you say so? Next drinks on the house, pal" ...
4 Comments, 53 Views,
13 Votes
,3.48 Score |
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this is a terrible tweeker joke 2/20/2019
How do you know when your girl has done to much dope? <br><br>
<br><br>
Her wet spot cracks back!
0 Comments, 17 Views,
12 Votes
,1.39 Score |
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Cheat Day 2/17/2019
Bob and his wife started dieting a week ago. His wife proposed
that they should have a cheat day today. <br><br>
She brought home McDonald’s burgers, KFC wings. Bob
brought home his secretary. <br><br>
From his hospital bed, Bob is wondering when men will ever
begin to understand women.
3 Comments, 45 Views,
13 Votes
,3.31 Score |
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Points 2/14/2019
Just here for the points
6 Comments, 31 Views,
13 Votes
,2.47 Score |
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Points 2/14/2019
Just here for the points
4 Comments, 21 Views,
6 Votes
,2.51 Score |
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Lorrainia Bobbit 2/13/2019
Have you heard that Lorrainia Bobbit moved to Russia and
changed her last name? Answer!! Too Lorriania Cuts your cockoff!!!
2 Comments, 15 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score |
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the best joke 2/13/2019
whats the best joke you remember?
1 Comments, 27 Views,
11 Votes
,1.48 Score |
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Man ask the Doctor 2/11/2019
Do you think I shall live until I'm ninety, doctor?"
"How old are you now?" "Forty." "Do you drink, gamble, smoke, or have you any vices
of any kind?" <br><br>
"No. I don't drink, I never gamble, I loathe smoking;
in fact, I don't have any vices." <br><br>
"Well, good heavens, what do you want to live another ...
2 Comments, 63 Views,
18 Votes
,4.35 Score |
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Woman buys a Gun 2/11/2019
A woman goes into a sporting goods store to buy a rifle. "Its for my husband, " she tells the clerk.
"Did he tell you what gauge to get?" asked the
clerk. "Are you kidding?" she says. "He doesnt
even know that Im going to shoot him!"
0 Comments, 37 Views,
12 Votes
,3.51 Score |
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Indoors.. 2/9/2019
It does not matter what the temperature is, it's always
room temperature!
1 Comments, 25 Views,
13 Votes
,1.47 Score |
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Question... 2/6/2019
If Con is the opposite of Pro, is Congress the opposite of
Progress? <br><br>
Get the point?
1 Comments, 30 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score |
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Aricle #1 2/5/2019
Coming soon...will add later on
1 Comments, 14 Views,
11 Votes
,2.23 Score |
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Fuc'em 2/5/2019
Fuc'em if they can't take a joke!!
3 Comments, 16 Views,
8 Votes
,2.32 Score |
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points 2/5/2019
One day 2 blondes were talking. Blonde 1 says "guess
what! I just had sex with a Brazilian guy!" Blonde 2 replies "OMG you ! how many is a Brazilian?"
3 Comments, 20 Views,
6 Votes
,3.08 Score |
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Where do babies come from? 2/5/2019
A mother is in the kitchen one day, preparing dinner for
the family. <br><br> Her young walks in and asks her, “Mommy, where
do babies come from?” <br><br> The mother thinks for a while before deciding she ought
to be honest with her . She says, “Well honey,
Mommy and fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and then ...
0 Comments, 40 Views,
6 Votes
,2.80 Score |
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Marriage Game 2/5/2019
My girlfriend said to me last night, “You treat our relationship
like some kind of game!” <br><br>
Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus chance!!!!!!!
1 Comments, 18 Views,
7 Votes
,3.55 Score |
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Penis Book 2/5/2019
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do
you have that book for men with small penises?" <br><br>
The librarian checks her computer and says, "I don't
know if it's in yet." <br><br>
The man replies, "Yes, that's the one."
2 Comments, 27 Views,
6 Votes
,4.79 Score |
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Silly but funny... 2/4/2019
<br><br> Q: What can a put behind her ears to make her sexy? A: Her knees.
<br><br> Q: What's a man's definition of a romantic evening?
A: Sex. <br><br> Q: What do you it when you have oral sex, vaginal sex, and anal sex with your all in the same night? A: The fucking
cycle. ...
2 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,3.12 Score |
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Some more jokes for the bar 2/4/2019
Q: What did the hurricane say to the coconut palm tree? A: Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job! <br><br>
Q: Whats a condom and a coffin got in common? A: They both hold stiffs but one is cumin and one is going!
<br><br>
Q: When is a man most intelligent, before, after or during
sex? A: During sex cuz he's plugged up to the knowledge source. ...
1 Comments, 19 Views,
2 Votes
,4.50 Score |
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MR MAN 2/4/2019
Mr Tickle found his soul mate Tess. <br><br>
He asked her to marry him.. She agreed on condition that she did not have to take his
surname!
1 Comments, 22 Views,
3 Votes
,3.92 Score |
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Few more good ones... 1/30/2019
What’s the difference between a and a drug dealer?
A can wash her crack and resell it. <br><br>
What do the Mafia and pussies have in common? One slip of
the tongue, and you’re in deep shit. <br><br>
What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are you shaking?
She’s gonna eat me! <br><br> Why does Dr. Pepper come in a bottle? Because his wife died. ...
0 Comments, 42 Views,
14 Votes
,2.66 Score |
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A few good ones... 1/30/2019
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball. <br><br>
What does the sign on an out-of-business brothel say? Beat it. We’re closed. <br><br>
Why was the guitar teacher arrested? For fingering a minor. <br><br>
What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One’s a Goodyear. The other’s ...
0 Comments, 22 Views,
8 Votes
,0.93 Score |
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Red Riding Hood 1/30/2019
Red Riding Hood was walking through the forest heading
to visit her grandmother. While on the path, a deer walked
up to her and said the wolf was going to eat her. "OK",
she told the deer and continued on her way. After a little
while, a little rabbit approached little red and said the
wolf was gong to eat her. "OK", she told the rabbit
and continued on her way. After a little ...
0 Comments, 50 Views,
6 Votes
,1.94 Score |